Grandmere’

Days passed.. Time move on.. Everything is not the same again without her..

Grandmama, I miss you.. I can’t say how deep in grief I am when you see how much or rather how little tears I’ve shed.. But, can you measure sadness and grief by tears ? I’m not sure..

Thinking back of those times.. The times she had bathed me, the times she fed me and bought me “Mamee” my fav childhood snack w/o mummy’s knowledge, the times we played cards together..

I’m 18.. Finally turning into a respectable looking young adult.. Grandmama said I’m beautiful but I know I’m not.. She loves me that much..

I’m over 20.. Grandmama asked me to bring my boyfriend back to show her.. She said, “You must let me see, so I can see how blissfully happy you are.” She wants to be certain of my future..

I’m 23.. Grandmama couldn’t attend my graduation ceremony due to her illness.. But, she told me she’s so very proud of me when I visited her with my graduation robe at night.. She’s delighted..

Now, I can’t see her anymore when I go over to my youngest uncle’s house.. She was always the 1st person I looked for and addressed when I visited them.. I can’t massage her tired body anymore.. I can’t play her fav card games with her anymore.. I can’t hear her sweet reassurance no more..

Because this time, she’s going on a long long journey, a journey she has to walk alone..

Can’t promise I’ll think of her everyday.. But, those memories we’ve built together, I’ll cherish them till the last breath.. And every time I think of you, I will smile.. To let you know, that I am ok..

Lastly, a part of a song’s lyrics I would like to dedicate to Grandmama:

I know you had to go away

I died just a little, and I feel it now you’re the one I need

I believe that I would cry just a little

Just to have you back now

Here with me