Mood Swings…

Dear bloggie.. Gonna vent out my frustration to you today, luckily not on you.. Ironically, I’m getting crankier with every passing day now that I have so much free time on my hands.. I wonder why is that so ?? People always beg for time to slow down as they are always rushing for time.. Doesn’t everyone ?? Why not me ??

Lately, I have been getting offended easily.. Well, maybe not offended.. That’s too heavy a word, eh ? Hmm.. I think fed up is a more suitable word.. Anyway, as I was saying.. I got fed up fairly easy lately.. So cranky eh ?? It’s like usually if people pass on a rude comment or criticizes me for something, I will just laugh it off good naturedly.. But, lately, I’ve the feeling to shoot back at the someone for their rude remarks.. Airing opinions ain’t wrong right ??

But then after a while, after shooting back, I would usually end up feeling sorry for the person whom I have just bitten their head off.. I may even get angry at myself for not controlling my fiery temper.. “Yvvone Yee, can’t you just swallow down your retort and make everyone happy ??” was what I think sometimes.. But, that would have make me a doormat right ?? I’m not sure I wanna be one.. Complex personality ?? Lol..  

Sometimes, even I don’t understand myself.. I think I am kinda complicated.. Well, to those who know me purely on the surface level, they may think I live on impulse and don’t think much of consequences.. Heck, they may even think that I don’t think at all.. Lol..

On the contrary, I think…A LOT !! I guess I think too much.. That’s a comment I always hear from my close friends.. So, I get kinda emo also.. Hmm.. I guess I’m the pessimistic kind of person, too..sadly.. Ishh.. Always thinking of the worst that may come out of every situation.. I don’t know what has conditioned me to think this way..

Oh.. and you do know about the blaming game, don’t you ?? It’s like this person did something wrong, or did not do what has been said accordingly.. Then shit happens and the blaming routine starts.. I hate it.. I loath all these blaming-other-people-so-you-can-escape-scot-free-business !! Ah.. life is full or errors and mistakes.. But who’s to blame ??

I am not gonna bury myself in misery, I am not gonna bury myself in misery, I am not gonna bury myself in misery...

By the way, wanna clear something once and for all.. For the record, I studied LITERATURE IN ENGLISH, not ENGLISH !! So, don’t expect me to have perfect flawless English ok ?? Nobody said I have to have perfect grasp of the English language to take on Literature ok..

I am, but myself.. Don’t compare me to anyone.. Comparing leads on forever.. So, just leave me alone if you can only pass on rude remarks and criticize.. I don’t criticize you, so why you me ?? Stop talking to me if you can’t say anything not offending.. Thank you very much..

Oh, my.. I get the feeling that this blog post is sounding so darn depressing and bleak and even offending.. Shit !! Oh, fml !!

 I will not hate you, I will not hate you, I will not hate you, I will not hate you, I will not hate you…

Message to remember: I will treat you the way you treat me.. I believe in KARMA..

Kthanksbye~~~